Good morning. I haven’t worked on my novel in a couple of weeks. I still have to write, so I’m writing, this.

I am discouraged. For most of my life I’ve carried a burden of sadness inside. I care about people. No one should be hungry, hurt or living on the street. Why do some suffer more than others? Why is famine a thing? From pandemics, to earthquakes to domestic terrorism and everything in between. Murder, racism, poverty, unemployment, billionaires who get richer while the rest of the world barely holds on. Some religious people might respond with their take on what God is doing, what God means, what God wants before the Great Return. I don’t know what God wants. I know God, I feel God. God is real. I just don’t pretend anymore that I am so filled with the Holy Ghost that I have an answer for everything. I don’t have time to be fake. I only have time to ponder shit. The state of the world has always weighed heavy on me and I do not know why. It overwhelms me a lot. I sometimes rest to long inside of those deep thoughts and I don’t think that’s a good idea. It feels like I’m stuck in an existential crisis tsunami.

So, I’d actually like to switch gears. Hell, it doesn’t matter, ain’t nobody reading this but my mom maybe. All Black voices need to be heard-the people on the street, the protestors, the ones marching tirelessly. We need to hear from them. The DNC convention should revolve around the people who are least heard and hardly seen. Town hall gatherings should be in barbershops, coffee shops, at the USPS plants and branches. I’m voting for Joe Biden, but Joe doesn’t know Black folks. He talks a good game. I’m just discouraged by politics and the function of government. It seems like the checks and balances we’re supposed to have aren’t working. Those who have power seem to use it for their own interests. I fear that the person who occupies the oval right now is opening up a dark window. We can never have a person like him as a voice for anything. It’s time to burn the racist system. It’s time to refresh what and who we put our trust in. No white savior has ever saved us. There are many qualified Black folks who can run this country. Many.

I am tired of the way race has always been woven into all parts of society. We have to take our lives back, whether staying in this country or moving to Africa. We have to demand reparations and turn our back on the capitalists who exploit our communities. For instance, when are we expecting to see the first Black commissioner or president for our major sports? There are lots of Black bodies making these leagues great. Without us, where would sports be? Where would the whole fucking world be?

I’m done. I don’t feel like proofreading this but I will.

Fiction. Podcasting. Poetry. Deep thoughts. Writing while Black.